mar 16, it's been a while

It's definitely been a little while since I've actually made any meaningful progress on this blog. It's been a solid 5 months since the last post.

Here are some things that have happened in no particular order or hierarchy:

• made a few more friends
• lost a few friends
• traveled to mexico twice, tuscaloosa once, and milan once
• found some cool solutions at work
• regretted my job decisions several times
• read quite a few books
• decorated my room a bit more
• got better at making friends
• got better at connecting people
• started a few projects, who knows if they'll ever get done (including this one)
• started pushing 30
• and finally found myself (sike)

Jacob and the Angel

In bell hooks' ultimate chapter in her self-help book "all about love," she mentions the biblical story of Jacob wrestling an angel. In the story, Jacob physically jostles with an angel all night. When dusk hits and the angel must get on his way, the angel dislocates Jacob's hip bone. Still, while the angel is leaving, Jacob refuses to let the angel leave, urging the angel to bless him.

Jacob is blessed, and will now carry a limp all the rest of his days.

The pain is a blessing and the struggle will make you strong.

"Consider it pure joy my friends whenever you encounter tribulations of any kind"

My next north star

I'm really not sure what my next pursuit will be. The work stuff is cool, but it doesn't itch my brain or my heart like I would want it to. Everyone tells you to detach, to not to care, to seperate yourself from your work. But, I never became an engineer to not care about engineering. That doesn't make sense to me.

It's one of those things I just need to tighten my resolve around and start chasing it with both hands again. I'm not sure where my next opportunity will be, but I'm excited to really chase something again.

That's it. See yall soon, hopefully :)